Whales and Koalas

I’ve been too anxious these past few days. It’s overwhelming…

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"2:00am Self"

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Summer, 2013

Those were the days.

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The Problem with Over-Thinking


1. It increases your anxiety , your worry, and your dread.
2. It makes you feel confused, so that it’s really hard to think.
3. It can blind you to “the obvious”, and what is best for you.
4. It can keep you feeling stuck so that you wait too long to act.
5. It can interfere with hearing what your heart says you should do.
6. Thus, it can limit your success as you’re afraid to take that step!

I miss being surprised. I remember as a kid, I always dreamed of being surprised on my birthday. I’ve always been one to love walking into the unexpected, but I was just shy. Because of this, I’ve enjoyed surprising people. I feel like the moment you’re caught off guard shows your true emotions even if it’s brief. The thought of making people happy when they least expect it is just great. I’ve been part of multiple surprise birthdays, and I also like to surprise those close to me. I don’t know, good surprises make me happy.

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I’ve been eating healthier and working out for the past month or so and I can genuinely say I’m noticing a good change in my body. I’ve always wanted a flat stomach (with dreams of getting a six pack) and stronger arms to balance out my proportions since I have pretty muscular legs. 

My arms have gotten more defined, especially my deltoids. My stomach actually has flattened and my abs have gotten harder. I still need to lessen the fat to muscle ratio if I want any trace of a six pack to show, but that’ll take time. I really hope that I can control myself in college. I don’t want this work to go to waste. 

I’m happy with my body right now. If only my face wasn’t so gross haha. I guess you can’t have it all though.

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My mom told me that my dad and her are probably going to move to the Philippines once my mom’s last client passes away (she takes care of an elderly man).

I don’t know, they hinted this before and I was pretty sad because I felt like they were planning to abandon me. This time around, I didn’t really react despite it being a more definitive claim. It just didn’t phase me as much. 

Oh how times have changed. 

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Resentment — Beyoncé

Even though this song doesn’t really have any direct bearing on my relationship, it really hit me hard. I don’t know. Maybe it was the way she sang it or the lyrics… or maybe a combination of both, but it made me really emotional. It triggered my sympathy unlike a lot of songs I come across.

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Today was good. I spent a good five hours with Lena; it’s not often I can spend that many hours with someone without going crazy or feeling overwhelmed. I’m glad that despite having lives apart from each other, we’re still able to connect this easily. 

Y’know how sometimes, when you hang around different people, you have to slightly adjust your speech or your mannerisms to make “socializing” easier and less uncomfortable? Around her, I don’t feel like I need to fit a certain mold or be a certain person to get along with them/hold a conversation. I can really just be myself. I don’t know, it’s just a really liberating feeling. There’s never too much negativity, nor is there too much idle lightheartedness. Being with them isn’t exhausting. In my opinion, our personalities just blend really well together. It’s a really good combination of seriousness and hearty laughs. 


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I’m on this “art binge” again. If you haven’t noticed by my posts on tumblr, I’ve completed quite a few pieces… more pieces than I was able to come up with for HL art during my two years in it given this amount of time. 

I like art a lot — it’s one of the very few things that keeps my mind focused. Hours will pass without me even noticing. Lately, I’ve been finding a lot of inspiration in one of the instagrams I follow actually. His IG is: RichardSalcido. It’s just so nice being inspired because the sparks just start flying! It’s great because I know I’m actually capable of working with my muses with my talents. 

Art is something else that can make me feel good about myself. I’m confident in my abilities. It never hurts to appreciate yourself and your work, right? 

Because of my recent art outburst, I’ve made a new blog: AWhalesCanvas

Go follow it!

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"Wanna try my pie, puddin’?" — Harley Quinn

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people who are full of hate and negativity r exhausting to be around wtf go play with a dog

"The Light"

(Potential work in progress)

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